Treat Yourself Like You Treat Everyone Else

Updated: Oct 30, 2021


You might be surprised to hear that one of the best ways to cultivate a hopeful, optimistic outlook on your life is to practice some radical self-compassion.


A lot of people confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence or even selfishness. But being kind to yourself is just as, no more important as being kind to others. Simply put, you can’t be kind or loving to others if you don’t love yourself, period.


1. Self-Compassion Makes You More Optimistic

Being kind to yourself means you can stop the cycle of self-blame and self-victimization. It prevents you from dwelling on past mistakes and builds your resilience and confidence. Each kindness that you show yourself allows you to pick yourself up and get back on track.


When you are kind and encouraging to yourself, your anxiety levels drop, your mood lifts, and you become more optimistic and hopeful about the future.


2. Cultivate Mindfulness


I think that the best way to jump-start your self-compassion practice is to adopt a more mindful attitude to life. Mindfulness focuses on the acceptance of who you are, where you are right now. Being mindful allows you to accept all your faults and all your glory. You learn to accept that whatever you're going through, experiencing, and feeling in the present moment is okay. These times are preparing you for what is to come.


Mindfulness and self-compassion help you to overcome denial and hesitation in your reality. You get rid of excuses and baggage to make space for hope and growth to come in.


3. Accept that Hard Times Are Part of the Deal

Self-compassion understands that life is a mixture of hard times and good times. There will happy and sad times, ups and downs. Most times the bad things that happen are out of your control, and all you can do is decide how you're going to react. Will you be overwhelmed, angry? Or will you roll with punches, learn from your experiences, and rebuild?

In times of fear or any other of life's stressors, self-compassion allows you to take guilt or blame out of the equation and deal with whatever you're faced with. It encourages you not to be so hard on yourself because you know that you are doing your best and that better days are coming.



4. Treat Yourself As You Would A Friend

Take a step back and look at how you're reacting. What is your self-talk saying to you? Are you reassuring yourself that things will work out okay, or are you beating yourself up for something you did or didn't do? Would you talk to any of your friends or family like that? How would they feel if you do?


Be as gentle in your self-talk as you would to a loved one who is in crisis. Be loving and kind, and reassuring. Extend the same hand of hope to your own heart and help yourself on the first steps back towards better times.



 



About The Author


Angela M Mitchell is the founder and CEO of Back to her. She is also a Certified Master Life & Personal Development Coach, a mental health advocate, and a Co-Author in the international best-selling collaborative masterpiece, The Image in The Mirror. She received a degree in Healthcare Administration from Bryant and Stratton College and has since dedicated her life to advocating for women who live with mental health disorders.


Angela also assists women entrepreneurs to acknowledge their struggles, change the narrative of the stories they tell, and rewrite them so that they can become deliberate, not desperate, creators of their own life's story.


She guides them through a process of self-discovery that leads them to reignite their passions and to rediscover their God-Given purpose so that they can achieve the success they desire in their personal and professional life.


 

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