Befriend Fear - It Takes Courage To Be Your Real Self

Updated: Jan 16


Choosing to be your one true self can be one of the most frightening and challenging decisions you ever make in life. So many fears can stop you from being yourself, especially around others who may not accept the "real" you.


Learning how to embrace and befriend fear is the best way to handle these fierce inner conflicts. However, it does take courage to be your genuine self. If you're struggling with embracing the natural you, consider using these techniques to explore and embrace your fears.


Method 1: Know that you can't control everything


Everyone is built differently. If you're scared to be your authentic self, this is one of the most important lessons you can ever learn. When you decide to let go of a need to control everything in your life, you can begin embracing your true self.


You have no control over what people think of you or say about you; it's not your business anyway. So be who you are and carry yourself the way YOU want and not the way that makes other folks comfortable.


People feel like they have to fight against their natural flows to act or appear differently–unfortunately, this method doesn't work. Instead, accept that some factors of your true self can't be controlled, as this is the first step toward being your authentic self.


Method 2: Identify each of your fears and get to know them.


Fears are discreet and vague, like a mysterious boogeyman hiding in the closet. You know you're afraid of something, but the thing you're so scared of is lurking in the dark shadows of your mind where you can't totally see it. Unfortunately, fear functions the same way!


Pull them into the bright light where you can confront them head-on. Begin journaling about your challenges and seek the help you need from a friend or therapist. Once you identify and get to know each of your fears, you will see them for what they are and not what your mind has convinced you they are.


Once they're out in the open, these fears lose some of their "boogeyman" effect–when you know what you're fighting, it's easier to be courageous.



Method 3: Check yourself.


If you have a habit of always jumping to the worst-case scenarios, remember to give yourself a significant reality check. Often, worst-case scenarios aren't the most likely scenarios. Just because you allow your mind to be consumed with a particular fear doesn't mean that fear gets to be in charge.


Have an honest discussion with yourself about the likelihood of your biggest fears coming true. When you do, you'll discover that they are warped perceptions of the real situation. Use these reality checks to build your courage–you have the facts on your side.


Method 4: Separate yourself from your fears.


Now this one might be a little tricky. You are probably thinking, "If I'm" the one with the fears, how can you separate myself from them? Yes, worries can make you feel helpless and weak. That's those limiting beliefs trying to convince you that you are. But it's important to remember that they don't define who you are as a person.


Fear is the product of an active, stressed, or anxious mind. However, just because you're experiencing these emotions and fears doesn't mean it has to affect you. Allow yourself to separate from your fears. Consider every angle of a situation that worries you, and you'll discover that they are not what you think they are, and there is nothing to fear–they're simply unfortunate products of a worried mind.



Method 5: Find someone who can talk with you about your fears.


Getting your fears out of your mind is a great way to build courage so you can be who you are meant to be. Too often, people bottle up fears and keep them inside. When these fears are constantly cycling through your mind, you can begin to feel hopeless.


Allowing yourself to discuss your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist is a great way to get them out of your mind. Seeing your fears from a different perspective can help you achieve clarity about what scares you.



 

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